Closing doors to Open your heart…

Waking up in the morning feeling good can be for the moment. You kick off the day with the thought that no one or nothing can bring you down. Everything is going to flow seamlessly, but one trigger can change the trajectory of your day. However, what does it mean to be in a good place? In my case it is defined as my mind, body, and soul are beginning to feel peace and finally syncing up, even through the challenging days, the dark days. The days when nothing makes sense…

I am getting to a place of me, finding my true me. Not saying I was pretending, but all areas were by far not in sync. It has required me to close certain doors in my life that were hindering the process. I had to meet where I wanted my standards to be. If I no longer wanted to battle what I didn’t deserve I had to stop leaving doors cracked or even open. This summer allowed me to see that I was holding on to things that I felt was keeping me complete. Also, made me see that there was still more work to do. I once again had to face the mirror and ask what do I truly want to for my life. Be honest with myself, with others, and the doors that I kept unlatched.

It is not always a cake walk closing doors, chapters, books whatever term used to say severing connections with people specifically that are not good for you, especially when there is an attachment. With that, I had to determine if staying in was adding or subtracting from my good place. As good as it felt to dissolve access, I also closed off a piece of me. A piece of me that was scared to let the old me back in, that would subject herself to abandonment, rejection, hurt. Once again, I had to look at the new me and remember I allowed that part of Leyllani to heal.

My good place must include reopening my heart, allow myself to feel, protect, but not be guarded. Healing will include hurt, but it doesn’t have to include abandonment, rejection, or pain. Also, be okay as I open new doors, I can also close them. My good place can be a safe place…