Being Obedient

Being obedient means to follow, to yield, to be willing to comply with the requests of others. In various seasons, including this one and those that came before, I have found myself resisting what I knew I should do, what I was prepared to do, and the path I was being guided towards. There were also moments when I appeared "obedient," though I use quotes because often what I obediently followed was not necessarily what I was supposed to do or desired to do; rather, I did so because I felt there was no alternative. For instance, in my youth, my obedience was lacking, resulting in reprimands, punishments, or being scolded on numerous occasions. When I did comply, I naturally received praise. Consequently, as I matured, my obedience stemmed from a desire for approval rather than the opposite. However, this sometimes led to painful, disheartening, and draining experiences. Even when I wanted to rebel, the outcome was often the same.

Jumping to the present season, I must admit that my obedience has undergone some changes, although not entirely. I often catch myself adjusting to accommodate others' needs, but when exhaustion sets in, my inner fight diminishes as I grow weary of being so compliant. I'm beginning to wonder if my obedience is directed towards the right priorities. The answer is affirmative. For years, I have been dedicated to safeguarding my inner peace, not only to shield myself from negativity but also to nurture my spirit and connect with His spirit. This journey has been far from easy, or rather, consistent. Nonetheless, I've discovered that when I obey His spirit, my peace becomes more profound. I no longer struggle; instead, I effortlessly flow.

I know this effortless flow is in me and I will find it as I have done so many times. It requires me to block out what I am submitting to and what I am fighting to truly be obedient.