A Letter to Myself…

Dear Queen,

Let’s start out by saying, YES, you are a queen! It may not have felt like it and sometimes still doesn’t, but I can tell you, you are a queen that deserves the very best. You have been through so much, starting at a tender age from your father leaving you, your mother’s pain and resentment, to your innocence being taken away from you.

You didn’t know what was safe. Even the family that you knew loved you unconditionally was removed because of your parents. Going through life has not been an easy road and you may not have made the best decisions. However, you were working with the tools you had and what you learned. Remember, you were not taught or shown security and what it meant to be safe. You were not given the opportunity to make a decision about your body. So, how do you think you were supposed to navigate life in a healthy, positive way?!

You had to deal with and grow up fast with taking care of your brother and the house, then becoming a teenage mom. and still being a hollow shell. To gain acceptance you allowed abuse at every level, that caused more trauma to your soul. People may say you could have stopped what you allowed or walked away, but you didn’t know how, you only knew how to function to make everyone happy and forgot about you.

Yes, you got married to someone that didn’t do right by you, yes you have to start over. Yes, you allowed someone else to stay longer in your life than he should have. However, the best part is. God grants you the ability to open your eyes every day, enabling you to try again. I am glad you didn’t succeed in taking your life, because you have so much to give yourself and others.

You will continue to grow and walk in your purpose, the Queen in you will force you to do so! There will be moments of mistakes, moments of doubt, moments of feeling alone, but you will keep pushing forward, the best is yet to come!! Leyllani, I forgive you and love you, all of you so love yourself for yourself. Know that with the tears, the moments of unhappiness, you will be OKAY.

Queen you are more than enough and your life will be filled with Love, Freedom, and Peace of Mind! You are stepping up to your standards and saying no to anything less than, and that will begin to come easy. I got you, God got you, so walk in that!

Love you always,

Leyllani